[Apologies for two Galleries o’ Shame in a row, but this one literally landed this morning]
The gentle thud of magazine on carpet is always welcome, even to someone burdened with 3 more subscriptions than can be comfortably consumed in a single month. I feel pretty solitary in thinking that print isn’t wholly dead in the water, but then the latest issue of Empire has me worried at quite how desperately they seem to be clutching at straws these days.
FIRST LOOK: HEROES OF 2010! could easily pass muster as an Italian sci-fi film from the 1970’s, but Public Enemies aside it’s the number one feature of month. Ridley Scott’s will-they-won’t-they Robin Hood gets top billing, giving the unwitting punter at the newsstand a sneak-peak at Aussie Gruff-Man Russell Crowe cutting a haggard profile as the Robenhood himself.
All fine and well, I’ve already seen that picture on the internet, so what other sneaky peaks lie in store I wonder?
Well it’s that picture of Russell Crowe again. But reversed this time. Much like the closely studied Seagal, Crowe qualifies in that class of action hero whose face is strikingly symmetrical, making image reversing an absolute doddle. A page editor’s dream!
And all credit to the brief article, it provides short snippets of insight from the film’s scriptwriter Brian Helgeland, setting straight the record on some of the stranger rumours that have been doing the rounds on this here internet. Crowe won’t be playing both Robin and the Sheriff of Nottingham. No mullets. No swinging on ropes either. Pretty promising relative to the standard set by Kevin Costner and his rusty spoon.
Giving no disrespect to Mr Helgeland, I’m guessing the face of a scriptwriter doesn’t cut much muster with the celebrity hungry Empire magazine. But alas, alack! The studio’s only drip fed poor Empire a single image of Robin, which they’ve already had to flip for the cover and the article! What to do!
“Get the art director in here! Get me something illustrative of this here Robin Hood!”
“What do you want?”
“Bows and arrows! Russell Crowe with a bow or something, in an action pose, that’ll do! And quick sharp now, the deadline looms!”
And off the illustrator goes and does exactly that. Using that very same solitary photo as source material. Amazing what you can do with a bit of paint and tracing paper really.